posted December 29, 1998 08:32 PM EDT (US)        

Quoth the benevolent being known only as Pax:

Just then, Lord Pax's mind cleared of the vision. He looked warily at the other
Drazenites watching the systematic obliteration of Beldon's Eye, wonder which of
them had planted the misinformation in his mind. No matter, all that mattered was
that he had been alerted to the approach of Captain Ramen and his mercenaries.

"I think they've had enough," Pax said suddenly. Target their repulsorlifts and be done
with them.

"We're not going to go and get any prisoners?" Wazzit asked.

"I see no reason," Pax replied. "While we're at it, somebody go execute the prisoners
we took earlier. Painful as possible."

RBF raised his hand. "Oh! Oh! Question! Now what are we going to do?"

posted December 30, 1998 04:58 PM EDT (US)            

But they were completely unaware. The Lightfoot set down at the city of Beldon's Other Eye, which was apparently the Sky Asylum's next target.

Once on the ground Ramen began inspecting his troops. "I want everyone's shield on at max. Blasters to full."

"Sir, the Sky Asylum is almost in range," said Lt. Udon.

"Excellent. They probably don't know were coming... I'll bet anyone here that if they know were coming they're also watching Hutt pornos... and you all know how unlikely that is."

"Shall I give the order?"

"No, Udon, I'll give it myself." Captain Ramen flicked on his comlink. "Nuttmeg delta-niner this is the Noodle. Your authorization is Nuttsactor 5. Happy hunting."

With a flicker of pseudomotion 18 specs reverted to realspace. The pilots of Nutt Squadron began their atmosphere entry. The shilouette of the Sky Asylum loomed in the background.

"All right Nutts, let's tighten up. Fire on my command."

Mere seconds passed.

"Fox 3, missile away."

posted December 31, 1998 07:38 PM EDT (US)            

**Meanwhile onboard the Sky Asylum**

"Hahaha! This is something I had never expected!", said Lord Pax, "New Republic fighters defending our position!"

"Lord Pax! We have 3 missles inbound! Impact in 3 minutes!", reported the captain.

posted December 31, 1998 08:28 PM EDT (US)            

He ran over to Nebula and Jon, as they were boarding a small shuttle.

"TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!" Pax yelled in a girlish voice while grabbing onto Neb.

"Sorry pal," Neb said, shaking Pax off, "only room for two. You got us all into this mess, now get yourself out."

With that they ran into the shuttle and took off.

Suddenly a computerized voice announced, "2 minutes to impact."

"VOID!" Pax yelled, running over to the fill-in horseman of the apocalypse, "You have to help me! Open a void-portal, rot the missiles, I don't care what, just DO SOMETHING!!!!"

Void looked down from his pale horse, and with a wicked smile, vanished in a cloud of green smoke.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT!!!" Pax yelled, as the station announced 1 minute to impact.

"The storm runner, of course!" Pax yelled out in joy as he ran towards it's landing pad. He arrived just in time to see Blue Angel, Jeff, and the rest of the drazenites climb in and take off.

"HEY!" Pax yelled in desperation, "That's my ship too! Come back!!!"

posted December 31, 1998 10:09 PM EDT (US)            

Pax ran to the weapons stations and attempted to blow the missiles away. He fired a concussion missile back at them.

Unfortunately, the missiles struck back and obliterated the concussion missile with some laser cannons.

**Meanwhile**

Captain Ramen, sat, destitute. Several of his fighters had been destroyed. Suddenly, the NR fighters started firing on his command center on Beldon's Other Eye. They must have traced his comlink signature.

Captain Ramen hurried toward an emergency fighter instead of Lightfoot. He had to get out of there fast.

The fighter lifted off from Beldon's Other Eye and raced towards the Sky Asylum.

Suddenly, the NR fighters started shooting. Ramen's ship was hit, taking out several systems, but he was still flying. He managed to destroy one of the fighters with his own ships limited weapons, but he wasn't going to last much longer.

Ramen's ship started to spiral towards the Sky Asylum.

**Back on the Sky Asylum**

Pax had decided the only to get out of the Sky Asylum was to use an escape pod and hope for the best. He ran to the escape pods and blasted off from the doomed Sky Asylum.

As the escape pod shot through the clouds, it suddenly impacted Ramen's fighter. The sudden shock restarted all of the fighter's downed systems, and the fighter left Bespin as the Sky Asylum exploded, succumbing to a fiery death in Bespin's lower atmosphere.

posted December 31, 1998 10:29 PM EDT (US)            

Batman walked onto a stage. "Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for the half time show."

posted January 01, 1999 01:29 AM EDT (US)            

"Just this," Void replied as he unleashed a cloud of green dust onto Batman.

Batman started screaming as his skin began to smoke, and suddenly...

TEST PATTERN

I'm sorry, we are experiencing technical difficulties.

Please stand by.

Please stand by.

Please stand by.

Please stand by.

END INTERMISSION

The Storm Runner rocketed away from Bespin, it's occupants once again leaving behind a home, no matter how temporary it might have been.

"There it goes," Jeff commented as the Sky Asylum exploded. "So ends our latest adventure, and it appears as though Pax is dead again."

"Seems kind of anti-climatic though," AC said. "Uh, not that that's a bad thing..."

RBF pointed out the window. "Too late. Look."

AC slapped himself in the forehead. "Me and my big mouth."

"Ah..." Speak stuttered from the doorway. "That's not good."

NOTE: Everyone BUT Neb and Jon (shuttle together? Ha! We'll only see one of them again), Pax and Void are presumably on the Storm Runner. Jeff, RBF, Acinonyx, and Speak are apparently confirmed to be.

posted January 01, 1999 02:23 AM EDT (US)            

It didn't take long to find.

Outside hovered a giant ship. It was saucer shapped, and had a diameter of at least twenty miles. It was jet black, and had a huge spike-like tower coming out of the top of the saucer. Smaller building-like structures littered the entire top half of the massive ship, while the gigantic (author's note: Damn, I'm wearing out my Thesaurus looking for synonyms for "big" )
repulor-lifts mounted on the bottom of the enormous craft, coupled with the ring of plasma drives mounted all along the rim of the ship kept it afloat.

"Hey!" Void yelled, "we're getting a message from that thing, it appears to be coming from the tower."

"Well," Speak said, "let's hear it."

Void hit a button on the terminal, and suddenly a large image of a familiar face appeared on the screen.

It was Justin0.

"Justin!" the drazenites all gasped in unison.

"That's right," Justin0 said in an evil voice.

"Why are you doing this?" Pax yelled.

"Actually," Justin0 said in an evil voice, "I have you to thank. You're the one who gave me the idea...."

"What idea?" RBF growled at the traitor.

"Why," Justin0 said in a mocking tone, "the idea to take over Bespin. After Pax launched his attempt, I saw all the potential that it had. So I secretly sabotaged him from behind the scenes. Meanwhile I had my army of ugnaught slaves (which I bet you didn't know I even had) begin construction on this little beauty. Hard workers, those ugnaughts are. One it was complete, I alerted Ramen and the New Republic to Pax's plan. They reacted just how I thought they would. Now you are defeated and Bespin is mine. Now, I hate to sound rude, but, get off my planet."

"Or what?" Sinc said, as everyone rushed to shut him up.

"Well," Justin0 said evily, "since you asked...."

"Um," Acinonyx said nervously, "we're getting some damn unusual power reading from that monstrosity."

Just then the whole saucer began to glow a strange blue color. Suddenly the blue light concentrated on the center of the bottom of the ship, right under the tower. In a huge flash of light the energy shot off of the ship in a thin beam, and struck the floating city of Beldon's Other Eye.

It was like killing a mynock with a superlaser. The city blew appart like a fire cracker, sending clouds of debris flying through bespin's sky.

posted January 01, 1999 03:33 AM EDT (US)         

As the SR leaves orbit, it passes close to the rim of the massive flying disk. Using small gliders that AC conveniently keeps in the hanger, they glided down to the surface of the ship, too small to be detected.
"Why can't we just have a nice peaceful day for once?" wonders Acinonyx.
"Because we'd have to listen to Nij, Sinc, Neb, and Jon fighting." answered Jeff.
"Oh, right. That's much better than being shot to death with a laser from hell." Wazzit said.
"Hey, don't knock it, we're still alive so far"
Suddenly, the trio hears the voice of Pax in their heads, his spirit reaching out throught the force. "Speak for yourself"
Soon they land on the disk, and begin searching for a way in. Fortunatly, Jon pushed his ugnaught squads so hard to finish that they did a patchy job on a lot of the security and paneling. It takes only a few minutes to find a panel that can be pried loose. Slipping inside, they find themselves in a dark corridor. Security cameras, hastily positioned, sweep jerkily across the hallway, leaving large holes in the surveilance. "This should be a piece of cake. Just remember the lessons we had in covert ops when we signed up for the BCF."
"Lessons? Oh, that. I skipped it, they were having a movie marathon on the sci-fi channel." Acinonyx said.
Jeff only sighed and looked at Wazzit. "What? Me? I think I was drunk."
"Surprise. Ok, just try not to get caught. AC, you find the power core, and shut it down." Jeff checks some equipment. "Ok, we're in the north-west corner. The power core would probably be in the center. We probably need a little time, so give us at least 2 hours, or remote detonation would be good if you can do that. Wazzit, think you can find the comm center and shut down surveilance?" Wazzit nods. "I'll find Justin. Ok, let's go!"

As drazenites head off to do their tasks, Justin0 smirks at the control pannels. The video displays to his left show nothing, but he hears the voices clearly through the audio monitoring. "So you think I'm so helpless, do you? We'll see." A menacing laugh eminates from within Justin. "We'll see."

posted January 01, 1999 04:18 AM EDT (US)            

* * * *

RBF looks back at the passengers of the Stormrunner. "So what should we do now? I for one hate sitting around doing nothing."
Gonk looks up from his Sabbac game with 4GOM. "Me neither, but what can we do?"
4GOM makes a move, and looks up, "Hey where's Sinclair?"

* * * *

posted January 01, 1999 02:36 PM EDT (US)            

"Leave us behind, will they?" Sinc yelled, "We'll show them, we'll go down to that thing and destroy it ourselves!"

"Sinc, you're drunk." Void Pestilence said in a monotone voice.

"I know," Sinc said proudly, "how do you think I'm having all of these great ideas?"

"Well," RBF said, "a second team might be able to at least keep the ship's security busy while the first team sabotages the core...."

"Okay," Void said, "but we do have to leave someone back here.....let's see, who do we know that doesn't have arms, moves kinda slow, and is really just a giant battery?"

"Hmmm," Gonk said to himself, "who do we know like.....hey, waitaminute, hey!"

"Okay, then it's settled," RBF said, "we'll go down to that thing and provide a distraction for Jeff's team, and Gonk will stay with the ship."

posted January 01, 1999 04:38 PM EDT (US)            

"Okay," Acin said, "the ship's communications are down. Now we just have to--"

"Um," Jeff said, "Gonk is contacting us from the storm runner. He says that the others are going to land on the ship and create a distraction so we can accomplish our mission."

"Well," Acin said, "if it were anyone else, I'd say that's a great idea, but with these guys...."

"Oh dear." Jeff said.

***on the other side of the ship***

Three ugnaughts stood together in the corridor. They chattered to each other about this and that, when suddenly the door behind them blew off of it's frame. Void, RBF, Sinc and 4GOM rushed into the corridor, weapons blazing, sending ugnaught parts flying everywhere.

"HA HA!" Void Pestilence yelled as he finished off the last of the ugnaughts, "Gommer, uplink into the ship's computer, find us the shortest way to the tower. I'll bet that's where Justin0 is, and knowing him, if we make a strike at him, he'll call the entire ship down on us, letting the others accomplish their goal.

"You got it," 4-Gom said, linking to the ship's computer, "okay, I got a map to it--wait, uh oh, guys...."

"What?"

"I just glanced at the prisoner roster. They picked up Jon and Neb's shuttle. They're being held in the maximum security wing. It's on our way to the tower, so...."

posted January 01, 1999 08:53 PM EDT (US)            

There didn't seem to be may guards around, for which Jeff was thankful. He wondered if J0 had sent them all after VP's team.

"I hear little vermin scuttling through my hallways," Justin0's voice came suddenly from a wall comm.

"Wha?" Jeff said. "You can't do that, we destroyed you comm center."

"Ah, but Jeff, audio survailence runs on a different line. So sorry." Just then, bulkheads at each end of the hallway slammed shut, trapping Jeff in that section. "Oh yes, the traps are on another line too."

Jeff gulped as the walls grew spikes and starting closing in...

***With Void's team***

"Ok, clear!" Wazzit (who had met up with Void's team) shouted as his jury rigged whiskey-bottle explosive went off, shattering the door to Neb and Jon's cell.

Void Pestilence and RBF entered to find Jon unconscious on the floor and Nebula scrunched up in the corner, his left cheek twitching.

They exchanged glances, RBF saying, "I don't think I want to give him a gun yet."

"What? You mean you're seriously considering taking him with us?"

***The quest to fudge the reactor***

Acinonyx walked down the hall peacefully, juggling sequencer charges as he went. Like some bizarre reinactment of the OJ chase, three dozen heavily armed Ugnaughts followed warily...

[This message has been edited by Pax (edited January 01, 1999).]

posted January 01, 1999 11:55 PM EDT (US)            

Jonathan stood up from his position on the floor and pointed at Nebula. "I told you that you were a bad pilot!"

"Arf." Nebula replied, standing up. "It wasn't entirely my fault! I told you to lean left, but no!"

"Lean left? This is a spaceship we're talking about, not a bobsled!" Jonathan snapped back.

Nebula bared his fangs at Jonathan, but was interrupted by Void's deep voice. "Don't both of you say thank-you at once. Just shut up and follow me."

[Jonathan C asks that Void stop changing his name (edited January 02, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by Jonathan C (edited January 02, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by Jonathan C (edited January 02, 1999).]

posted January 02, 1999 12:09 AM EDT (US)            

**On J0's big saucer ship thingy...**

Void's team's antics did not go unnoticed by J0's rather stupid security personnel. "Hey guys. Those uggies are backing off.", Void says.

"Yeah well, I have a reputation with those things...", Wazzit brags.

"Just stuff it Wazzit. Please.", said Neb, who seemed to have a horrible headache.

"Stop right there!", an anonymous voice yells from somewhere behind Void's team, "Drop the weapons, and put your hands where we can see them."

The team, not wishing to get shot, does as the voice tells them. "Take their weapons, and handcuff them. Then take them to Lord Justin, I think he may like to see them.", the voice orders.

As soon as he finished speaking, a dozen of Justin's security guards surround, and arrest Void's team.

"Good, good. I hope you boys have enjoyed your fun, because I'm afraid from now on, the party is looking rather bleak for you.", said the owner of that mysterious voice, IG88h!

"88, you rust bucket! How could you join up with scum like Justin?", yelled Wazzit.

"Wait a sec, haven't I heard '88 you rust bucket!' somewhere before?", asked RBF.

"Shut up you fools! Take them away.", 88 ordered, laughing.

As Void's team is escorted to Justin's tower by the dozen security guards, and plenty of those Concussion Rifle toting ugnaughts, things are looking bleak. "I hope Jeff and Aci are having better luck than we are...", RBF whispered to Entropy. (Out of Story: If I'm the only one left on the ship, than Ent and the rest must all be on Void's team. Right?)

**Wherever the hell Aci is**

"Well boys, it's been fun, but I'm sick of smelling you.", Aci mocked, tossing a sequencer mine into the midst of the ugnaughts, "Oh, and boys, if I were you, I wouldn't move, you see, that thing is motion sensitive, so the slightess slip up will spread you all over the walls!"

The ugnaughts, not understanding Aci, walk forward, and are immediately torn apart by the ensuing blast. Uggy gibs are spread all over the hall. "Oh well, can't say I didn't warn 'em.", said Aci, continuing on.

**Back with the now captive Void's team.**

The -ites of Void's team are shuffled into 3 elevators bound for the summit of Justin0's tower. Each elevator is then packed with as many security guards and concussion uggies as possible. "Obviously, Justin has told them about us.", jokes Void, who seems to have been crippled by some drug that the security guards gave him.

"Void, can't you just make 'em all sick or something?", whispered Neb.

"Can't you read boy? Look up a few lines! See that? I've been crippled by some sort of strange drug. I can't use any of my powers.", replied Void.

"Damn.. Well this sure sucks.", whispered Neb.

"How many more floors do we have?!?!?", asked Wazzit, sorta like a little kid on a long car trip.

"Shut up!", orders a guard, stuffing a rifle in Wazzit's face.

All the -ites of Void's team immediately quiet down, and stare at the floor indicator.

(Out of Story: Yes this is a long post, just read dammit!)

**Back with Aci**

"Ok, well, let's see, if I'm reading this map right, then the core should be somewhere around.... ", Aci says to himself.

"Well, looks like I'll have to take a maintenace elevator down to the core. Doesn't look like too long of a ride."

Aci finds and boards said elevator, and reads the map on the way down. The elevator stops and the doors open. "LUUCY! I'M HOOOMME!", he yells, and listens to the echo.

"Cool. Now, down to business."

Aci walks around the maitenance catwalk, suspended high above the exhaust port that leads to the gas clouds of Bespin, and sure death.

"Well, thank goodness I took those tightrope walking lessons.", Aci says, balancing out on a small tibanna pipe, which leads to one of the power controllers that stablize the core.

He places his mines on all five of these controllers, and steps back onto the catwalk.
"Now, to contact Gonk on the Storm Runner, an report in."

**On the Storm Runner**

Gonk sits in the cockpit and plays with a few of the buttons on the control panel. Various tibanna storage plants nearby are vaporized by blaster cannon fire. "Ooops. Wrong button!", mumbles the droid.

A red light flashes on the control panel. Gonk presses it. "This is the Storm Runner, at your service!", he says.

"Shut up and listen you dumb battery!", said Aci, over the comlink, "Contact Void's team, and Jeff, tell them that the core is rigged."

"Copy that, sending message.", says Gonk.

**On the never ending elevator to the summit of Justin's tower.**

"Are we there yet?!?", whines Wazzit.

"I told you to shut your trap!!!!", screams a guard, holding a knife to Wazzit's neck, and a blaster to his family jewels.

"Ok ok, don't freak on me!", said Wazzit.

"Just shut up!", said Fuurgh.

A small red light on 4GOM's chest starts to flash.

"What is that?", demands a guard.

"What is what?", asks Gommer.

"That flashing, on your chest there!", yells the guard.

"Oh that just means someone is trying to contact us.", said GOM.

"Well, there'll be none of that!", yelled the guard, switching 4GOM off.

**Back on the Storm Runner**

"Aci, come in, someone has switched Gommer off, so he's either being annoying again, or they're in trouble again. I suggest you get outta' there quick, they probably know you're in there too.", said Gonk.

"Copy that, bring the ship back and wait for me, at my point of entry. If you don't see me withing 5 minutes, go get help.", Aci said.

"I copy."

**Back with Aci**

Aci runs througn the halls of Justin's ship, trying not to run into troops, or ugnaughts, or other nasty things. He stops and looks at his map. "Ok, so I take a left here, and... I should be out."

Aci turns left down the corridor, and sees the hole that he, Jeff, and Wazzit ripped in the side of the ship. Outside he saw the hull of the Storm Runner. "Gonk! Open up the hatch, I'm coming in!", Aci yelled over the comlink, finding himself being shot at by troopers on patrol.

Aci dives into the ship and Gonk pulls it away. "You ok?", asks the power droid.

"Perfectly, now, let's kick Justin's ass... again..."

posted January 02, 1999 07:35 PM EDT (US)            

'Ah, there we go, system reinitialized.' Captain Ramen pointed his E-Wing back at Bespin's hazy orange and kicked in the sublight drive. He noticed he had several messages waiting for him.

From: Hellhounds - 'Sir, the Sky Asylum has been destroyed. But a new menace has appeared. The Bespinites know more what's going on, I'm attaching their message to you. Until I recieve a signal from you I'm reconning this new threat only.

'Also, Nutt squadron has been completely wiped out. I guess they won't be gettig paid. Udon out.'

From: Bespin Administration - 'You've got to help us! Even though Lord Pax has ben eliminated, the completely unoriginal Justin has decided to finish his work! You must help us. We will triple your fee.

'It seems the -ites have decided to thwart Justin on their own. Work with them As soon as you are finished eliminate the -ites also. There's a bonus in it for you.'

Ch-Ching! The Bespinites said the magic words. 'InstantLunch, open a tight beam communication to the Lightfoot.' The droid beeped affirmative. 'Udon, I finally fixed my fighter. I'm going to try and get aboard that ship. Initiate hostile activities against this new threat. We'll codename it 'Dumbass' for now. Your authorization is Delta Beta Zeta.'

'InstantLunch, engage stealth mode.' The E-Wing's sensor proflie became that of a gnat. The tiny fighter went full throttle towards Justin's battlestation.

posted January 02, 1999 07:36 PM EDT (US)            

Aci and Gonk jump into action. "So what do we do now?", asked Gonk.

"Well, since Jeff isn't responding to any form of communication, he's either busy or unconsious, and Void isn't responding, so we'll have to assume they've all been captured.", explained Aci.

"That doesn't answer my question, Aci.", Gonk said.

"I know, I was just giving some background for the people who are reading this.", said Aci.

"Ummm... I guess that's ok. But answer my question now dammit!", said Gonk.

"Well, we can't take on that entire ship alone, we'd need a whole fleet for that.", Aci said.

**Wherever the hell Capt. Ramen is...**

"SIR!", came Udon's voice over the comlink, "We have the Storm Runner in sight! What shall we do?"

"Contact them, and tell them what we are planning against Justin, I'll be there in a few moments.", ordered Ramen.

**On the Storm Runner (yet again!)**

"This is Acinonyx of the Storm Runner, we copy.", Aci spoke into the comlink.

"Mr. Acinonyx, my name is Lieutenant Udon, under the command of Capt. Ramen. We have orders to assist you in an attack on Justin0's ship.", reported the soldier.

"Should we trust them?", asked Gonk.

"Well, I don't see any other way of helping the rest of the guys... Lt. Udon! We understand completely, follow us to Justin's ship.", said Aci.

"Copy that, over and out.", said Udon.

"Let's get this baby ready for battle!", yelled Gonk.

"LET'S GO!", yelled Aci.

**On the ever long elevator ride to the top of Justin's tower.**

"I warned him, he should've stopped whining.", said a trooper, looking down on the floor at Wazzit's unconsious body.

"You really didn't have to knock him out, you could've just given him a drink, then he'd be fine.", said RBF.

The doors of the elevator open and the guards lead all the captured -ites (except for the unconsious and powered off.) out into a grand forum with huge windows running from floor to the ceiling hundreds of feet above. They offered a glorious view of the pink tibanna clouds of Bespin. None of the shoddy ugnaught worksmanship was to be seen here. "This was the only area of the ship that Lord Justin did not have to rush.", said IG88h, stepping off the second of three elevators, "This way please."

**Back with Aci and Gonk.**

"Lt. Udon, we are ready to attack, is your force ready?", Aci said.

"We are prepped and ready to move when you are.", said Udon.

"Well then, let's move!", yelled Aci.

**Inside Justin's throne room.**

Justin sits on his throne and watches Jeff's attempts to escape the spiked walls of death on his personal security monitor.

"My lord.", the captain of Justin's ship reports in, "We have all of the ummm... -ites? prepared to see you, except for two, a small power droid, and someone who goes by the name of Acinonyx."

"Very well, those two pose no threat to this ship alone. I shall find them, and crush them under my boot.", said Justin, grinning evily.

"Well that isn't pleasant at all.", Aci's voice resounded through the empty throne room, "I guess we'll just have to do something about it."

"Sir *static* we.. *BZzzzT!* have multiple fighters inbound! What shall we do?", reported one of Justin's officers.

"WHAT?!?!? Why didn't you pick them up eariler?!?!? Launch all fighters! NOW!", screamed Justin, accidentally hitting the stop button for the walls that were going to impale Jeff.

Inside that chamber Jeff sits cowering. "I don't wanna' die like this! MOOOOMMY!!!", he screams.

Suddenly the walls stop moving. "Huh? Wha? They stopped? THEY STOPPED! WOOHOO!", yells Jeff, jumping up and down, "Now, to get outta' here while I can."

**Outside Justin's ship**

"All wings, move into attack formation and commence firing, do not attack that tower.", Lt. Udon ordered over his comlink.

"Sir! We have multiple bogeys approaching at twelve o' clock low!", reported an anonymous fighter pilot.

"Get after them! Protect our bombers and that Corvette!", yelled Udon.

Justin's fighters start to scramble from hangars located all over the ship. Dozens of his small sleek squadrons approach Ramen's fighters and the Storm Runner.

"We've got plenty of targets out there! Get back to a gun turret!", yelled Aci to Gonk.

"COOL! Let's rock!", yelled Gonk, taking the upper turret and connecting into the Storm Runner to control the lower turret.

"Are we set?", asked Aci, manning the controls.

"We're set! Move in!", yelled Gonk.

**In Justin's throne room**

"Captain, tell all batteries to open fire! I want none of those ships leaving here in one piece!", yelled Justin, "88! Get in here now!"

The immense double doors to the chamber open, and in walks 88, his head lowered. "Yes sir?", he says pitiously.

"You have all but 2 of the -ites correct?", asked Justin.

"Affirmative.", 88 said proudly, raising his head.

"Bring them in here to me."

"Yes sire."

The captured -ites are led into Justin's expansive, marble floored throne room. "Sweet digs! Where's the bar?", Sinc piped up.

"Sinc, do you think of anything else but booze?", asked Entropy.

"What, you mean you don't? Man, it sucks to be you!", Sinc replied.

"What happened to Wazzit?", Justin asked 88.

"He apparently got a little rowdy and had to be subdued."

"Wake him up, and turn 4GOM back on.", ordered Justin.

After this had been done, in walked half a detachment of soldiers and stood between Justin and the -ites.

"Good, now we are prepared.", said Justin.

**Outside in the mayhem**

"I'm HIIIITTTT!", screamed one of Ramen's pilots, his smoldering ship slamming into the hull of Justin's flying fortress.

"All batteries open fire!", ordered the deck commander onboard the fortress.

"LOOK OUT! JUSTIN'S LASER BATTERIES ARE FIRING!", yelled Udon.

"Hold yourself together Lieutenant!", Ramen's voice came over the comlink.

"Ramen? When did you get here?", Aci asked.

"Just now, so quit flappin' yer' gums and let's get back to this fight!"

"Yeah? You want some of this you little freak? C'mon!", yelled Gonk, from the upper turret.

*BLAM BLAM!* "YEEEEEEHHHHAAAA! Take that you little freak!", yelled Gonk, "Hey Aci! I got another one!"

"Good, just keep them off our tail!"

"Hey! What is that?", yelled Udon.

Out of nowhere a small number of X-Wings fly into the forray.

"Capt. Ramen to unidentified X-Wings, what are your orders and intended destination. Please identify."

"We are pilots of the 140th New Republic fighter squadron assigned to defend this system. We have orders to eliminate this installation immediately.", reports an X-Wing pilot.

"How do you expect to do that with ten fighters?", asked Aci.

"We are only a small introductory wave. We have a suprise lined up."

Out of Bespin's upper atmosphere comes dozens of fighters. X-Wings, A-Wings, Z-95s, Y-Wings, B-Wings, and various support craft.

"HELLO!", yelled someone to Aci, "My name's Dylan, I've been looking for you guys, I wanna' be in this story too!"

A small single pilot Cloud Car flys into the midst of battle, shooting down a few of Justin's fighters as it approaches the Storm Runner.

"Great, just what we need, another character.", said Gonk, sarcastically.

"Understood.. umm.. Dylan was it?", Aci said, "We'll let you tag along if you help us out here."

"Cool.", said Dylan.

"Is it me, or do these things look like Xizor's fighters?", asked Aci.

"Good 'ol unoriginal Justin, he has to copy everything.", said Gonk.

**In Justin's throne room**

"So now you see, that you shall all die, I'll just have you thrown off this ship and into the tibanna clouds of Bespin, never to be seen or heard from again. And I'll kill all your little friends out there, just for fun.", said Justin, laughing.

"Well don't we sound a little Imperial-ish.", joked RBF, "But then again, you never were very original."

"Shut your mouth you idiot!", screamed Justin, "This ship is the most original you shall ever come across!"

"It's a copy of the ID4 ships, only we can't blow it up the same way, and it has a tower on top.", said Neb.

"And it's not a very good copy at that.", chimed in Void.

"YOU KNOW JUSTIN! THEY ARE CORRECT FOR ONCE!", came a booming voice from behind the -ites.

Everyone wheels around to see none other than Jeff, swinging in on a rope and blasting Justin's troopers.

"Well that was predictable.", said Entropy, "Let's kick ass!"

Seizing the moment, the -ites rush into action, Justin's troopers are continually mowed down by our heros. "NO NO NO NO NO! This isn't supposed to happen! NO!!!!", whines Justin, kicking and screaming, "Why can't you guys ever let me do something I want?!?!?!"

"Because everything you want to do is stupid.", said Jeff, landing a few feet away from Justin and drawing the napkin holder.

Justin ignites his saber. "I've been waiting too long for this, Walters, now you will pay! *SNIFF* For all the mean things you guys did to me!", he yells, charging Jeff.

**Outside, in the battle**

"WOOHOO! Another one down!", yelled Dylan, sending another of Justin's fighters smoking towards the hull of the fortress.

"Nice shot!", said Udon.

"WOOHOO! Pegged another one Aci!", yelled Gonk.

Justin's pilots are sent flaming to their demises. Left and right, fighters are dropping out of the sky like flies. Laser fire lights up the dusk sky. The New Republic bombers strafe the hull of Justin's immense ship with their usual cold efficiency. A great explosion fills the air as a whole chunk of the ship is sent spinning into Bespin's lower atmosphere.

**Onboard the ship**

"Sir!", reported the captain to 88, who was now running for his life, "We have lost an aft section of the ship! We cannot hold on much longer!"

"Understood captain, contain the fires and try to patch up what you can.", 88 said, as the ship lurched to adjust to this new loss in mass.

**In Justin's throne room**

Everyone is thrown to the floor as the ship shifts it weight. Jeff falls down the stairs and slams into a few troopers.

**Outside the ship**

"That must've taken out a stabilizer! We may be able to board the ship!", yelled the NR commander.

"Negative commander, once my buds are off that ship, it is to be destroyed immediately.", said Aci.

"Copy that..."

posted January 03, 1999 12:38 AM EDT (US)            

"What! Your not allowed to do that!?" yelled Jeff, "I was just about to impale you with my Napkin Holder!"

"Oh, okay" said Justin0, cutting off Jeff's right arm and pulling Jons weapon from his grasp.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" screamed Jeff as he stared at the stub that was his arm.

*Ummm, outside*

"Sir! The new republic fighters have sucsesfully eliminated 2% of the station superstructure!" Reported Ramens commander, "They mannaged to destroy the central stabilizer, too."

"Are they boarding?" asked ramen

"yesir."

"after they are all on, command our ships to target the ships reacter and destroy it! We can catch both the new republic AND those pety bespinites onboard!"

*back on board*

"New Republic troops have entered the ship! New Republic troops have entered the ship!"

"Woohoo! We're saved!" yelled Sinc.

Justin0 walked up to sinc and cut off his legs (thats for kicking my outta #cantina_cloud so much, *&$#head.)

By this time everyone was cowering in the corner, Jeff with his arm cut off, Sinc with his legs gone.

Justin0 threw his head back and laughed.

(outta story: geez, who said I had to be bad again... you know I hate being bad... Ah well, guess thats how it goes: You run outta plot; you make me a villian...)

posted January 03, 1999 01:10 AM EDT (US)            

And right into the side of a pale horse.

"Um," Justin0 said, looking up at Void, the horse's rider, "hi."

"Hello."

"Out of my way, Zorro," Justin0 mocked, "you're powers have been rendered null by my drugs, you are powerless before--"

Suddenly Void drew a huge, ancient looking cross bow, and fired a bolt (<---that's a crossbow arrow, in case ye didn't know) right into Justin0's chest. The bolt vanished in a flash of light on impact, but Justin0 collapsed and began to vomit everywhere.

"What did you do to him?" Jeff asked, sewing his arm back on.

"I gave him a particularly nasty disease. It will cause him to vomit uncontrolably for the rest of his life."

"But I thought you were drugged."

"Do you think that any drug that Justin0 created would have lasting effects?"

Suddenly the whole ship quaked.

"We'd better get out of here!" Jeff yelled, "come on, let's go!"

"What should we do about him?" Sinc, who had finished sewing his legs back on, asked, while pointing at Justin0, who was in the center of an increasingly large pool of vomit.

"Leave 'em," Void said, "he's been nothing but trouble for us."

posted January 03, 1999 01:10 AM EDT (US)            

"I do" Wazzit yelled back at FourGom and the rest of the -ites.

As they approach the hole that Acinonyx, Jeff and Wazzit made, a squad of ugnaught armed with concussion rifles open fire behind the -ites.

"Looks like we have company!" Sinclair yelled!

Jeff opened his comm, "Damnit Acinonyx! Get your ass over here!"

"Jeff? Is that you?!?" Acinonyx yelled over his comm.

"Yes! And were being chased by concussion rifle happy uggies! Meet us at the hole we made!

"Got it."

Wazzit stops by the hole, "Here it is, but no Stormrunner." He looks up at the ugnaughts. "Looks like were going to have to hold them off."

Jeff looks back at Wazzit, "Well, obviously."

Wazzit grins.

Sinclair charges an ugnaught, and snatches the concussion rifle from it. "Die mother [BLEEP]er!" Sinclair blows the ugnaught away and starts blowing away ugnaughts.

RBF looks at everyone, "Well, just don't stand there! Lets kick some ass!"

posted January 03, 1999 02:44 AM EDT (US)            

The StormRunner pulls close to the point of entry. Wazzit waves them closer. "We've got wounded!", 4GOM yells to Aci.

"Get on! QUICK!", yells Neb.

A fighter is given a fiery death not too far above the Storm Runner, it's remnants slamming into Justin's flying fortress. "They're evacuating the fortress Aci! Should we shoot down the shuttles?", yelled Dylan.

"Alright, but try and keep those fighters off our back!", Aci replies.

"Are we all on board?", yells Gonk from the upper turret.

"All of us but Void. Where is he?", yells RBF, taking over the lower turret of the Storm Runner.

"VOID! C'mon!", yells Entropy from the Storm Runner.

"I'm coming!", yells Void as he finishes off the last of the concussion uggies.

"Damn that is one ugly horse! Why the hell do you keep switching powers? First you're a dragon, then that ZoSo guy, now you're the Void Pestilence. Why?", asks Sinc.

"It's a complex.", replies Void.

**Meanwhile in the battle**

"I told you NOT to board that fortress commander!", Ramen screams over his comm.

"I'm sorry Capt., but I don't follow your orders. The High Command wants Justin apprehended ALIVE."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!", screams a pilot as his fighter blows to pieces.

"Dammit! We're gonna' have to pull out! We can't take much more of this!", yells Ramen, "Udon, pull our men out of here! We'll get the -ites later!"

"Yes sir. You heard him boys! Pull out!", Udon yells.

"Commander, this operation is all yours.", says Ramen.

"Copy that Capt. Ramen.", replies the NR commander, "Pull our commandos out of there, they can't do any more good!"

"Yes sir!", says a NR officer.

**Onboard Justin's flying ship**

New Republic troops and Justin's security forces and commandos engage in spats of combat. Blaster fire is heard everywhere on the ship. "Attention all personell, this is IG88h, Lord Justin has given the order to abandon ship. I repeat, abandon ship!", yells 88 over the ship's main communications channel.

"All troops! Fall back to the shuttles! We have orders to abandon ship!", yells a New Republic officer to his troops.

**Back outside**

"Are they all out?", asks the New Republic commander.

"All but Alpha team sir, they seem to have all been eliminated.", reports a bridge operator.

"Alright, order all of our ships in orbit to commence firing on that fortress, I don't want a piece of it left hanging in that sky!", orders the commander.

**On the Storm Runner**

"Hey guys! Ramen's fighters have pulled out! The New Republic has warned us that they're gonna' commence orbital bombardment of Justin's ship.", yells 4GOM.

"Alright, let's get outta' here!", yells Entropy.

"The ships will commence firing in 3... 2... 1...", says Cho'Koth.

"Cho, get down to the hangar and get in your TIE, give us some cover!", yells Aci.

"Gotcha! Take that you scummy fighter", yells RBF from the lower turret.

Another section of Justin's ship is vaporized, the Storm Runner is shaken by the shockwave.

"Commander! What the hell are your men doing?!?!? We're not clear yet!", yelled Neb over the comlink.

"Well then get the hell out of there! We'll finish this thing off!"

"Copy that!", yells Neb.

Wazzit walks over to a window and looks out, another section of the disc is blown into oblivion. "We are commencing heavy artillery firing... Hope you boys are clear.", says the commander.

A few large blasts tear through Justin's ship, plumes of smoke and fire spew from the hole they make. The ship lurches left and right, then starts a slow descent towards the lower atmosphere of Bespin. "FIRE AGAIN!", yells the commander.

Another wave of blasts cripple Justin's ship for good. Wazzit stares out his porthole. "Ooooo... pretty...", he says, taking a swig of ale.

The Storm Runner pulls away just as Justin's ship goes through it's final death throws. "Last time! FIRE!"

The last series of blasts rip through the hull of the ship for good. A cacaphony of metal tearing is heard, and then a large sickening screech, followed by a huge blast.

"That did it! It's gone!", yells RBF.

The Storm Runner is shaken by the shockwave of this blast. "I can't control it! We're not gonna' make it!", yells Aci.

"HOLD TOGETHER BABY!", yells Neb.

A tearing of metal is heard, and then nothing, followed by a blackness.

**Hours later**

"Hey guys wake up!", a voice is heard.

"Huh? Wha? Where are we? Are we alive?", asks Neb.

"Yes, you're fine, you boys have yourself in quite a predicament here.", says a New Republic trooper, "That shockwave sent you straight into this tibanna storage container here."

Aci looks out the side of the ship. The front of the Corvette is shoved through a massive tibanna container. "Man, if Pax were alive, he'd be so pissed right about now.", he says.

"Well, how do we get outta' this one?", asks Taerea.

"We can pull you out of here, but we'll need to evacuate this ship first.", says the trooper.

"Ok, well, let's do it...", says Aci.

posted January 03, 1999 11:52 PM EDT (US)            

***THE FATE OF PAX***

As the Storm Runner was stuck like an arrow into the side of a floating refinery's tibanna storage tank, the -ites had to climb up the forty-five degree angle tilt of the deck to the rear airlock, where a New Republic skiff waited to transport them to safety while a heavy cargo hauler (really heavy) extracted the Corvette from the storage tank. (How about THAT sentance?)

"At least it isn't falling," Acinonyx said as he climbed.

Beside him, RBF growled. "If it does, though, I'm going to rip out your vocal cords."

"I hope all my bottles didn't fall over and break," Wazzit moaned from the rear.

Despite much bitching and moaning, the -ites finally made it to the rear airlock, and boarded the waiting skiff one by one.

"Funny, the damage doesn't look as bad from out here," 4-GOM said as the skiff sailed away. The -ites watched as the heavy hauler moved into position, manuevering it's magnetic grapplers into place.

"Hey, look at that!" Entropy said, pointing towards another storage container.

"Is that an escape pod stuck in it?" AC asked, squinting at the sight.

"While we're waiting," Jeff said to the NR tech operating the skiff, "Steer us over there for a look."

His skiff loaded with crazies, the tech reluctantly agreed, and as they moved closer they could see that it was, in fact, an escape pod.

Void pointed at lettering on the back. "Look at that. 'Lord Pax's Private Retreat-mobile. Stay Out'."

"Maybe he isn't dead after all," Nebula suggested.

"Yeah," AC replied, "But how happy is he going to be to see us?"

Cautiously, the -ites clambered over to the escape pad. Looking through a window, Void said, "It's all dark inside, but I don't see anything moving."

"Ah, what're we worried about," Wazzit slurred drunkenly as he popped the hatch. "He's a buddy, right?"

"Wazzit, no!" everyone shouted, but it was too late. The hatchway groaned open.

After a few moments of nothing happening, AC was elected to take a look. He crept to the hatchway, and slowly peeked inside. "Oh, geez. I think he's dead."

"Wait, wait," Jon, knower and pointer-outer of all things Star Wars, interrupted. "Stop the music. Pax is a Jedi, albeit not a very good one, but he is. If he was dead, his body would've disappeared."

Acinonyx shrugged and climbed inside. "Nope, he's isn't dead, though he really should be."

The others crowded around the hatchway for a peek, half of them backing away and puking like Void had hit them with the stomach flu.

Grimacing, RBF asked, "So what are we going to do about him?"

"I have an idea," AC said slyly as he pulled out a strange, vacuum cleaner-like machine.

***Later***

The Storm Runner had been successfully yanked from the storage container and the -ites had re-boarded and were currently safely passing through hyperspace on their way to Drazen.

In the mean time, Acinonyx was busy in his workshop. About the time the darkly painted Corvette dropped back into realspace, AC came to the bridge, a remote in his hand.

"Home again, home again, jiggity jig." Jeff sighed. "Back to work."

"Hey, what's that?" RBF asked, pointing to the little droid.

AC grinned. "It's Pax. I sucked up his brain in my brain sucker, digitized it in my workshop, and put it in this remote. I was just about to see if it worked." That said, he activated the ball and let it float into the air. It beeped once and it's processor fan came on, followed by the sounds of startup. And then...

"--Ah, my head. What happened?"

AC grinned.

posted January 04, 1999 01:43 AM EDT (US)            

Everyone looks at Wazzit, then looks back at the Remote.

Wazzit looks at the Remote, raising his eyebrow at it.

"Wazzit, why the hell are you looking at me like that!?" Remote-Pax said.

Wazzit's eyes go wide, he looks at his bottle of Ale, "Must be a bad year." Throws his bottle of Ale away and takes out a new bottle of Whiskey, and walks away drinking.

Remote-Pax turns at the others.

RBF looks at Jeff, then at Acinonyx, "I like the old Pax better, there seemed to be more of him."

Jeff grins.

Remote-Pax turns at Jeff, "What the hell are you grinning at!" Remote-Pax zaps Jeff.

"Oww! You damn Remote!" Jeff pounds on Remote-Pax.

*** In the Lounge Area***

The door opens, "Hey guys."

Gonk and 4Gom turn around from they're game of Sabacc, "Hey Wazzit." Gonk greets Wazzit.

"Were orbiting Drazen right now, finish up that game.

Gonk and 4Gom nod.

"Man, you guys, I think I'm so drunk I imagine Remotes talking to me." Wazzit said sitting down watching the game.

"Talking Remotes? Now theres one I haven't heard." Gonk said.

posted January 04, 1999 11:47 AM EDT (US)            

Suddenly, Pax the remote started shooting laser blasts at Gonk. Pax had quite forgotten that he was a remote, and Gonk didn't know who it was.

Gonk cried "Stupid remote! You go squish now!" He hit the remote to the ground and stepped on it.

"Uh, Gonk. That was Pax." said 4-GOM

"Whoopsies..." said Gonk

Acinonyx ran into the room. "I heard something, what happened?" he asked.

4-GOM, ever the snitcher, said "Gonk squished Pax into cybernetic oblivion."

Acinonyx yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" so loudly that you see his tonsils move.

posted January 04, 1999 03:29 PM EDT (US)            

Dropping the Spork, Acinonyx ran to the pile of Pax parts and started digging through it until he found the memory core. "Yes, it's still intact," he said. "Glad I put that extra shielding around it." That said, he ran back to his workshop and inserted it into a backup remote he had wisely constructed. For safety's sake, he also took out one of the laser emitters and replaced it with a fusion torch.

Whole again, Pax flew back to the lounge and tested the torch on 4-GOM's arm. It fell off with a clank.

"Hey, what was that for?" the droid cried. "Gonk was the one that smashed you!"

Pax said nothing, and floated out of the room.

"I'd say you got off easy," Gonk, the dented, legless box commented.

Pax flew to the bridge to watch as Jeff and RBF prepared to land it at Drazen. "Would you look at that!" RBF exclaimed.

posted January 06, 1999 01:56 PM EDT (US)            

"The Empire has taken control of Drazen!" Pax exclaimed in his digital voice.

"Arm the weapons! This is going to be a rough ride!" RBF yelled.

The communications panel beeped. "I found an old Y-Wing in the storage bay. I'm heading out." Jonathan said.

"Fine. Give us cover while we charge up the main guns." Jeff ordered, punching the switch to open the bay doors. Pieces of garbage floated out of the bottom of the Corvette, followed by the larger form of a Y-Wing.

"Head to bearing three-nine-three, Jeff. Inbound TIEs. Profile suggests Interceptors.” Jonathan said, bringing his ship to the new heading.

“I copy. Nebula and Acinonyx are in the gun turrets.” Jeff replied. The top turret sounded off a round of blasts, aimed at a completely random spot in space.

“Uh... test.” AC murmured.

Three TIE Interceptors arrowed in on the Storm Runner, blind toward the Y-Wing. The socket where the R2-D2 unit normally sat was empty, eliminating the targetry options of Proton Torpedoes. Jonathan kicked his starboard rudder, turning his fighter around and arming his Ion Cannons.

“I’m at full throttle and I can’t keep up with that TIE. Box it in, Nebula.” Jonathan said. A string of fire bolted out of the lower turbolaser turret. The TIE fighter shyed... right into the pilots’ crosshairs. Jonathan squeezed the triggers, sending a pair of ion bolts into the Interceptors’ engines. Blue sparks erupted from the cockpit as the fighter shut itself down.

“Jonathan, we can handle these fighters. You go after the base!” Pax yelled over the intercom.

“I copy that, Storm Runner.” the Y-Wing’s pilot responded, changing vector toward the base. A few stormtroopers shot at the pilot from the ground, but no other fire came from the base. “Storm Runner, base weaponry is not installed.”

“Okay, then bomb the base to oblivion!” RBF’s strangely Leia-ish voice responded.

Jonathan armed his Proton Torpedoes, put a bead on the hangar complex, and fired. Nothing happened. “I’ve got a problem here! No torpedoes.” The pilot snapped off a laser shot at the building. “Ugh... this base is ray shielded. Storm Runner, do you read me? Repeat, Storm Runner, do you read me?” Jonathan queried. There was no reply.

Before he could do anything, a nearly-completed turbolaser turret swung around and fired. A green beam lanced through the Y-Wing’s port nacelle, shaking the small craft and destroying the ship’s reactor. The turbolaser overloaded and detonated, throwing shrapnel and stormtroopers in all directions.
The starfighter impacted with the ground at a low angle and glanced off, striking sparks from the rocky terrain. Several kilometers passed until the fighter touched the ground again, skidding to a halt and rolling onto it’s side...

* * *

The crew of the Storm Runner were frantic, to say the least. A lucky shot had vaporized the communications and detection satellite mounted on the top of the ship, and scored a hole in Acinonyx’s gun turret. The atmospheric doors closed, with the gunner still trapped inside.
“Watch out for those incoming bombers!” RBF shouted.
“I see them!” Jeff replied, violently pounding on the boosters.
“I wish you would stop that. I already had to replace that button.” Pax commented dryly, seeming uncharacteristically calm through the debacle.
“Aw... shut up.” Nebula said through the communication speakers. An ion bolt hit the ship’s massive engine banks, making the lights inside the ship flicker.

“Uh oh.” Jeff said.
“Uh oh? Uh oh isn’t good!” RBF yelled.
“I’ve lost one of our engines. We’re going to have to get out of this soon or we’re finished!”
“Head toward the planet, Jeff, TIEs have a notoriously poor performance in air!” RBF suggested. Jeff compiled.
“Uh... oh no.”
“What now?” Asked Pax.
“Assault Gunboats.” Jeff said, pointing up in the air somewhere ahead of the ship.

“Uuuughh... as much as I hate to say it, Jeff, pontoon the ship!” Nebula exclaimed.
“WHAT?” Jeff replied. “Who says this thing can float?!?”
“It’s our only chance.” RBF agreed. So, Jeff ran the ship into the sea and cut the engines.
“Ah... I guess this isn’t too bad.”
“Yes it is. You forgot to close the bay doors from when you launched Jonathan!” RBF groaned. “We’re sinking.” Doors all over the ship slammed shut and an alarm started.
“Oh.” Jeff said.

* * *

By the time Jonathan awoke, the face of the moon was pitch black. The thin streamers of atmosphere were fading, but it was still breathable, according to the crashed Y-Wing’s onboard computer. Not being one to trust broken equipment, Jonathan put on his life support package’s air mask and opened the cockpit canopy. The glass frame slid back.
The pilot climbed down from his ship, onto the rocky face of Draze. Heading toward the Imperial garrison, Jonathan unholstered his blaster....

posted January 06, 1999 04:40 PM EDT (US)            

(Sorry, I hate people who try to make themselves big heros in the story.)

***BACK ON DRAZEN***

The group of drazenites scrambled out of an escape hatch on the top of the ship.

"Um," RBF said, "we got a BIG problem."

"What--" Void asked, as he looked up and saw what the problem was, "oh."

An entire squadron of TIE bombers was conducting carpet bombing on Drazen Isle, blasting the cantina, book store, and other structures to dust.

"Um," Jeff said, "They're headed this way!"

posted January 06, 1999 06:11 PM EDT (US)            

"This is Imperial Guardsman Nammeric," The voice on the other end reported, "I bring news from the Emporer, you are to call off your attack and fall back, the Emporer has decided
to use this planet as his personal sanctuary, and wants it left in Tact."

"We are currently disposing of the Natives of this planet, we will pull back ass soon as we finish." The Leader said.

"NO!!" Shouted Nammeric, "The Emporer has said that he wants to deal with members of that group personally, and I am to personally deal with the rest. Back off now, or I will open fire on you!"

"Alright, Squad pull back, let's let mister big and bad deal with the guys down there." The squad leader said, obviously annoyed.

As the squadron pulled off, the now visible Tie-Advanced pulled around behind them and opened fire. "What are you doing? We followed your orders!" The head ship screamed. "I can't have you going back to the rest of your fleet and telling them what happened!" He said calmly as he picked off the last of the rest of the Squad. Zeroing in on the commander he said "You see, I'm a memebr of this group, and the only person on the area with a ship like this, if you were smart you'd know that! The rest of your fleet would come down on our heads quicker than we could repair this ship, that would be bad."
Having finished explaining himself Cho'Koth fired the Last shot and destroyed the bomber.

He brought his ship close enough to the Storm runner to get out on it. Engageing his Anti-grav units, Cho climbed out of his ship and knocked on the hull. Out climbed...

posted January 06, 1999 07:01 PM EDT (US)            

In the conferrence room of the Lightfoot, the atmosphere was clearly tense.

"Administrator, you had better pay up, and you had better pay up now," said Captain Ramen.

"You failed to eliminate any of the -ites. The deal is off."

"We completed the first objective. We must get paid."

"The answer is no."

"Fine, have it your way." Ramen opened a private signal. "Pvt. Ryan, engage your target. Administrator, your wife and kids are now dead. Next time we make a deal you had better honor it. Ramen out."

Lt. Udon stepped into the room. "Sir, our fighter screen has formed up. They await co-ordinate tranmission."

"Set course for Drazen. We jump in 5 mics. And get Ryan the hell out of there."

Five minutes later, a gateway to hyperspace opened up, taking the Lightfoot and her fighter escort to superluminous velocity. 3 hours later, a similar gateway took the ships back to realspace.

"Sir, our scanners show evidence of heavy fighting around Drazen. Looks like imperials. Hey, they took out the bookstore."

"Damn. Where the hell am I gonna get my copy of Darkness Falls? Oh well. Send our fighters in to flank them. Ewings first, followed by Xwings, then Ywings. Udon, find the Storm Runner and take us near it. I think they'll need our help."

posted January 06, 1999 07:25 PM EDT (US)            

No one! because as I said, WE WERE ALREADY ON TOP OF THE FRIGGIN' SHIP! Looking embarrassed, Cho'Koth closed the hatch. The Drazenites climbed onto Cho's fighter, and were taken back to the shore.

Suddenly three horsemen rode up.

"um, hehe," Void Pestilence stammered, "hi guys...."

War, the lead horseman, growled at Void.

"Oh," hehe," Void said, "I bet you want Pestilence's powers back, right? Well go ahead...take 'em!"

Suddenly a swirl of blue energy appeared around Void, and then vanished.

"well," Void Pestilence, now ZoSo once more, said as the horsemen rode away, "it was fun while it lasted."

"Anyway," RBF said, "we have to do something about that base on the moon, we have to--"

"um," Jeff said, "worry about that later, we got more fighters!"

Suddenly a wing of fighters swooped down and started pelting the beach with laser fire. The starboard wing of Cho's fighter was blown clean off as the drazenites scrambled for cover....

(now, let's see if we can get through the rest of the NeS without anyone launching into another self-promoting post, eh? I don't want to see any more 'And then I single handedly saved everyone' posts. okay?)

posted January 06, 1999 11:26 PM EDT (US)            

The -ites ducked for cover in a tunnel running under the dunes, the TIE's strafing run failing as the fighters roared overhead.

RBF sighed. "I suppose it was too much to ask that we could get one of those two or three month periods when nothing happens."

"We shouldn't hang around here too long," Remote-Pax said. "When they can't get to us with fighters, they'll send down boat-loads of Stormtroopers to track us down."

"And you would suggest what?" ZoSo snarled. "I bet the first thing they targeted with those Bombers was our defense systems. We've already lost Cho's ship and the Storm Runner. You know of anything around here that flies, besides you?"

Suddenly, Jeff slammed his fist into the wall, a distinct popping noise filling the chamber.

Acinonyx winced. "That can't have felt good."

"I don't know about that," Jeff muttered, whipping out of rag to wipe the blood from his bloodied knuckles. Behind them, the wall shifted and slid out of the way, revealing a secret passage into the darkness. He motioned with his head, saying, "There's something that flies down there."

Murmers were heard in the crowd. "Something big for all of us to fit in at once?" Neb ventured.

"Oh, more than enough," Jeff grinned devilishly. "You won't believe it."

posted January 07, 1999 03:42 PM EDT (US)            

2. Qpan: you're a new poster, so you don't know we have some courtesy rules for the NES. The biggest one is, don't kill off other people's characters.

3. Void: Dammit, I'm the continuity Nazi, not you! You may not like Ramen's posts or hate when people write a post about themselves, but that's the spirit of the NES sucka. You can't just plan out story arcs and ignore what you don't like. You got to deal with what's on paper.

4. No more revenge posts. We've had this problem off and on for the whole run, but it's got to stop or else the NES will degenerate into back and forth kill fests. You have story elements you can use to get back at people, but no more walking up and smacking the person upside the head for no good reason (story wise).

You may be pissed at the previous poster, but don't make story suffer for it.

Pax

posted January 07, 1999 04:07 PM EDT (US)            

"Ohhhh, pretty!" Sinclair and Wazzit, the local drunks, exclaimed in unison.

"It's a fairly old model, but I got Jonathan to help me refit a few of it's turbolasers." Jeff explained.

Acinonyx ran a hand along the big ship's hull and promptly got a cut. "Needs some more work, Jeff!"

Ignoring AC's complaint, Pax asked Jeff: "How can that thing land like that?"

"It just can!" came the reply. "Oh, by the way, seeing as how you have absolutely no shipmastering skills, ZoSo, we're leaving you here to piss off the Imps."

"Okay." ZoSo replied, armed to the teeth with ancient weapons.

The ship took off and flew away as soon as our heroes boarded the ship, leaving ZoSo behind.
Amazingly timed, three stormtroopers ran out of the passageway and onto the landing strip. One of the stormies spotted ZoSo, whom was waving good-bye to the departing warship. "There's a Rebel!"

posted January 07, 1999 04:20 PM EDT (US)            

"It's your shift, prisoner." one of the guards growled. Jonathan stood up off his bunk and vacated the cell. Once putting on his heated suit and breath mask, him and several other prisoners were shoved into the airlock, and taken out into the mines.

posted January 07, 1999 06:51 PM EDT (US)            

ZoSo, hearing the blatant yell of the stormtrooper, whirls around and unsheaths his blade. The 3 troopers charge him, shooting, and , being stormtroopers, miss with every shot. "Don't they ever give you guys any target practice?", ZoS yells, slicing the front off a trooper's rifle.

ZoS charges the trooper, who is now running and screaming like a six year old girl, and proceeds to make him a stormie-kabob. Meanwhile the other 2 troopers are still firing at ZoS, and still missing. "Well, I've got to get topside, so if you boys don't mind...", ZoS said.

With one swing of his blade, both troopers drop to the ground, stone dead. "Well... that was fun.", ZoS, said heading back out the tunnel.

**On the spiffy new ship**

"WOOHOO! This kicks major ass!", yells Wazzit, heading to the ship's bar.

"Yeah! Let's go celebrate!", yells Sinc, following Wazzit.

"OOO! OOO! I want a turret!", yells Gonk.

"Alright, take the one of the upper bow turrets.", said Jeff.

"WOOHOO!", yelled Gonk.

"I'll take the other one, whose gonna' take the chin turret?", said Neb.

"That'll be me.", said Cho'Koth.

"Ok, now, side turrets, any takers?", asked Jeff.

"I'll take one.", said Dylan.

"I'll take the other.", said RBF.

"Aci and I will get up to the bridge and pilot this puppy. Let's go Aci.", said Jeff.

"Right with ya boss!", said Aci.

Aci and Jeff head off to the bridge, with remote-Pax following behind.

**A few minutes later**

"All turrets report in.", said Jeff over the comlink.

"Upper bow turret 1 reporting in. I'm good.", said Neb.

"Oh cool! We have missile launchers! This ship rocks!", said Gonk.

"Chin gunner here, I'm ready.", said Cho.

"Side turrets here, we're ready.", RBF and Dylan said in unison.

"Copy that, we'll be within their scanner range in 2 mins., be prepared.", said Jeff...

posted January 07, 1999 07:53 PM EDT (US)            

"Wow! That's a lot of weapons!" RoboPax exclaimed. "What's that one do?" He asked, pointing toward an unpressed button, which was labelled: 'Bombardment'.

"Don't touch that! Jonathan filled the two spare hangars with TIE Droids fitted with heavy explosives. I guess you could call 'em TIE Bombs. They're fast, and know what targets to fly into." Jeff replied.

"Hmm... these could be useful." Acinonyx said, looking out toward the Imperial base and stabbing down on the button. The ship thudded as dozens upon dozens of overlarge TIE droids were expelled into space.

Jeff sighed and targeted the base. A dialog box came up saying: "Commence attack. Are you sure?". He pressed yes...

posted January 07, 1999 09:39 PM EDT (US)            

Suddenly, Remote Pax came from behind and shorted out 4-GOM's neural/motor connection (meaning that I can't walk because I can't think to move my arms and legs).

Remote Pax hovered into the TIE Bomb Bay.

***On the bridge***

"Jeff, are we ready to deploy the remaining TIE Bombs?" asked Aci.

"Yeah, sounds good." said Jeff "Deploy the Bombs."

The TIE Bombs dropped out of the ship like so many little droppings. Remote Pax also got sucked out into space, by accident.

Since he was still able to move through the vacuum, Remote Pax tried to notify one of the gunners of his predicament. He first went to Gonk's window, but the stupid droid was so inept that he accidentally knocked the gun sideways, hitting Pax about 6 feet away.

After unsuccessfully trying to contact Neb, Cho'Koth, Dylan and RBF, Remote Pax hovered up to the bridge window. He started banging on the transparisteel.

"OH GOD!" cried Aci, "Is that Pax?"

"Looks like it. Lock on a Tractor Beam and haul him into the TIE Bomb bay. Wasn't 4-GOM supposed to running the checks on the remaining TIE Bombs?" asked Jeff.

"Yeah. Let's go check what's up." said Aci

***Outside the TIE Bomb bay***

"Looks like he's in." said Jeff "Pressurize the doors."

Aci did so. Remote Pax hovered in.

Suddenly, Jeff noticed 4-GOM's body on the floor.

"What happened to him?" asked Aci

"Can't tell. We'll plug him into the ship's computer and have it run a diagnostic." said Jeff "It'll take about 3 hours, though."

Suddenly, the ship was rocked with weapons fire. Aci and Jeff ran to the bridge as the battle began.

*** out-of-story note: Before anyone criticizes me for having Pax get sucked into space, let me remind you that it is not meant seriously. It's just a joke-the NeS definitely needed one. As to the quality of the escapade, too bad. Live with it.***

posted January 07, 1999 11:19 PM EDT (US)            

Gonk turned around in his turret and gonked at the passing fighters. With him absent of the cannon controls, the Turret Automation System started up, swivelling the turret around and sending a volley of fire at the TIEs. "Mine!" the legless box shouted, Gonking loudly.

The first TIE Bombs were now in range of the base. Laser cannons activated, they let loose, flash boiling the ground outside but doing little to the base. Then they hit. Multiple explosions ripped through the Imperial installation, tearing the surface of the moon apart. The rest of the TIE Bombs hit the surface, digging through the moon's crust and finally exploding, blowing the moon into an expanding cloud of sand.

On the Strike Cruiser, Wazzit and Sinclair were plastered to the window, watching Drazen's new ring belt forming, "oohhh"-ing in awe. Bits of the moon were flung into the TIE Fighters' engines, blowing them to bits.

posted January 08, 1999 10:13 AM EDT (US)            

**Meanwhile, up in the turrets**

"GONK! GONK GONK GONK GONK GONK!", gonked Gonk, (Think I used it enough in that sentence?) pounding the controls of the turr